Song

Phoebe has written a song!

"I decided I wanted a normal life.
Every minute I used to think about life.
I wanted to see you again.
I couldn't bear it any more."

Which seems a good strong lyric, if rather angst-ridden.

Underneath she has helpfully written:

"BEAT:

Tum tum tee-tum, pom pom pom-pom, POM!"

Now if that's not musical talent, I don't know what is!

Growing up

Emily: "I don't know if I want to become a teenager, Daddy."

Me: "Oh? Why's that, darling?"

Emily: "Well, teenagers are always in a bad mood and keep getting cross with their parents."

Me: ...

Emily: [Grinning] "So no change there, then!"

School

Phoebe has vowed to turn over a new leaf at school by not copying from the boy she sits next to in class.

"Daddy, I didn't copy from anyone at all and I finished the exercise before all the other children!"

"Oh, well done, darling. And did you get everything right?"

[Proudly] "No, I got it all wrong!"

Well, it's a start, I suppose...

Shopping

for clothes. During which Emily tries to squeeze into ridiculously tight jeans and asks if her bum looks big in them. Looks like my little girl is all growed up...

Vegetarianism

Emily comes into the kitchen as I am cooking up something delicious involving tuna. Her nostrils are plainly aquiver.

"What's that, Dad?"

"It's tuna, darling."

"Tuna..." she exclaims wistfully. "Tuna is very nearly my favourite food. It's a shame I can't eat it now that I'm a vegetarian."

I raise an eyebrow and she glares at me. She is challenging me - no, daring me - to point out that since she turned "completely vegetarian" on September 1st, she has consumed bacon (twice, once in a club sandwich and once in a carbonara sauce), chicken (once), and a half-hundredweight of meatballs (to help Phoebe celebrate her name day).

I am too wily, though, to get drawn in to an argument that I can only lose.

"Don't worry darling, I'll make something vegetarian for you tomorrow. Some delicious broccoli, perhaps."

I duck the flipflop that promptly hurtles in my direction...

Name Day

For her name day, Phoebe chooses to go bowling. Characteristically, she does not allow her pleasure to be dampened by the fact that she scores just eight points in the whole game.

For myself, I am naturally disappointed that she seems not to have inherited my sporting aptitude. Being sensitive, though, and this being her special day, I am careful to restrict myself only to encouraging comments such as "No, darling!" and "Not like that!"

You know the holidays are well and truly over...

... when your children, having spent all day bickering, have a huge argument and both threaten to run away from home. And instead of trying to calm them down and act as peacemaker, you ask them if they'll be wanting one suitcase or two...