Vegetarianism

Emily comes into the kitchen as I am cooking up something delicious involving tuna. Her nostrils are plainly aquiver.

"What's that, Dad?"

"It's tuna, darling."

"Tuna..." she exclaims wistfully. "Tuna is very nearly my favourite food. It's a shame I can't eat it now that I'm a vegetarian."

I raise an eyebrow and she glares at me. She is challenging me - no, daring me - to point out that since she turned "completely vegetarian" on September 1st, she has consumed bacon (twice, once in a club sandwich and once in a carbonara sauce), chicken (once), and a half-hundredweight of meatballs (to help Phoebe celebrate her name day).

I am too wily, though, to get drawn in to an argument that I can only lose.

"Don't worry darling, I'll make something vegetarian for you tomorrow. Some delicious broccoli, perhaps."

I duck the flipflop that promptly hurtles in my direction...