Back to school

Emily and Phoebe return to school, which begins the same way as it does every year, with the time-honoured ritual of fighting our way through a scrum of reps from local language schools. They are clustered around the school gates, handing out exercise books, pencil cases, pens and other assorted freebies emblazoned with the names of their schools - because let's face it, you wouldn't even consider enrolling your child to learn a foreign language unless you'd been bribed with a piece of tat that will be binned within a month, would you?

Oh yes, and there was the usual blessing of the pupils with holy water and announcements from the head teacher. Then at 9.15 everyone went home. (Well, the kids had had three months of holiday and they might have got tired if they'd done any more than just turn up and go home on the first day...)